So Much To Do, So Little Time07/11/2008 10:07:25
I woke up late today, and was surprised when the clock said 10:45 and not 8:00 AM! Its Friday and I don't have any real plans. I have some phone calls to make for work and some bills to pay, but nothing pressing, which is how I like it. Despite being up late and also not getting up until late, I feel pretty energized. With Lupus, whenever you feel good, you tend to feel like you should take advantage of it. When my prednisone used to fluctuate, I would feel like I needed to do everything I could while I was on a low dose before I would have to go increase it again. I would want to attend every social function, clean up all the major things, like closets and house work. I would want go shopping and spend time with friends that I knew I wouldn't see when my prednisone went up, and I went back into seclusion. I have been on a stable dose for quite sometime now, but at times I still feel that "do everything now" anxiety.
When I was first diagnosed, the reason the doctors initially thought I had phuenmonia was that I had some fluid that had built up in my lungs. It looked like phuenmonia, but it was actually the Lupus attacking my lungs and causing them to fill with fluid. I also had a pericardial effusion, which is basically fluid surrounding the heart. Again it was my own body producing so many antibodies that they caused the fluid to build up around my heart. What the doctors told me was "no more sports"! They said I should slow down my activity level. The doctors felt it could cause a flare or make things worse. So I began to associate high activity with actually making me worse, not better. There are some differences now to that approach, but at that time that was the advice I received.
Now, my activity level is mainly based on how I feel. Like anyone, I push myself for things I want to do in my life. I don't ever want to miss out on anything but I do it within reason. I do it knowing my limits and I listen to my body. Having said that, I still feel sometimes like I want to do everything I can in this time that I have feeling good. Because the truth is that none of us know how much time we have, and it 's better that way. It gives us all an opportunity to really make the most of the time we have.
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